


Let You Hold Me For a Little While

by pennysparkle



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:02:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5007523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennysparkle/pseuds/pennysparkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The house was quiet, and it might have been utterly comfortable—like settling underneath a warm blanket and allowing the world outside to dim—if not for the fact that this silence was out of place and entirely unwelcome. It was nothing like when Dojima worked late and Nanako spent the night with a friend, where Souji could tuck himself against the living room couch and read the whole evening away, appreciative for the chance to recharge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let You Hold Me For a Little While

**Author's Note:**

> [Jack](http://milesupshur.tumblr.com) and I are doing a week of P4 prompts! Today's was "birthmark."

The house was quiet, and it might have been utterly comfortable—like settling underneath a warm blanket and allowing the world outside to dim—if not for the fact that this silence was out of place and entirely unwelcome. It was nothing like when Dojima worked late and Nanako spent the night with a friend, where Souji could tuck himself against the living room couch and read the whole evening away, appreciative for the chance to recharge.

This quiet was dismal and dark,  _lonely_ , and he felt guilty for thinking that. Yosuke had made the effort to be here for him, after all, and he was thankful for that. But it was hard not to feel the ways in which things were out of place, because Souji had never dealt with anything like this before. The stony, wall-like silence of his parents at home but in another room, uninterested in what he was doing, or the unnerving silence when they were gone for weeks at a time—neither of those compared to this one. This was the silence of  _loss_.

"You okay?" Yosuke asked from beside him. Their thighs were touching. It was a new development, the way Yosuke would sometimes push for a little bit more, but only in this kind of privacy. Around their friends, they were the same as ever, but here? Yosuke might lean over and rest his head against Souji's shoulder, might grip his hand nervously in his lap. If he was feeling particularly outgoing, he might kiss Souji, very, very lightly—but he didn't seem entirely comfortable seeking that just yet.

"I'm okay," Souji said. It was a lie, but would the truth make much difference? Yosuke couldn't do anything to help him. Even  _Souji_ couldn't do anything to help himself, so he was trying to ignore the problem instead with the TV on in the background, a constant wash of some game show that Souji only occasionally laughed half-heartedly at. He and Nanako had watched this together just a few days ago, once the both of them had completed their homework and eaten dinner. And something felt off about watching it with Yosuke. It wasn't right.

"Do you wanna do something else? I brought my laptop," Yosuke continued. He was a lot more astute than he (not to mention the others) gave credit for sometimes, or maybe he just didn't always employ this skill. Regardless, it was appreciated.

But Souji wasn't bored. Most of all, he felt  _lethargic_. Nothing was fun or even tolerable for long when all he could think of was the fact that Nanako and Dojima were in the hospital, and all because he hadn't figured this out in time. It was easy to blame himself, especially when he was supposed to be the leader. Everyone counted on him, and even if he hadn't failed them, he knew he'd failed himself and his family.

"... I'll take that as a no," said Yosuke, laughing awkwardly. He was trying his best, and Souji knew he should be ashamed for not indulging him. He  _wanted_ to pretend he was okay. It was just hard.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"Hey, don't be sorry, partner. I know it'd mess me up if this happened to my family."

Souji nodded. The silence between them was, for once, uncomfortable. He appreciated that Yosuke actually wanted to put up with it for his sake.

"Hey, what if we did something to take your mind off of it?" said Yosuke when another several unbearable minutes of silence had passed.

"... Like what?" Souji asked dubiously. This could be anything from extreme downhill biking to finding Kanji and asking him to hit Souji upside the head with a chair in the hopes that it might knock him out for a few hours.

"Like... uh..." Yosuke hesitated, and then one hand, shaky and unsure, came to rest on Souji's thigh.

Souji raised an eyebrow. It didn't surprise him necessarily; he just found it rather  _bold_ in comparison to Yosuke's recent behavior, which typically had him touching Souji for a second, and then drawing back uncertainly at least twice before he finally realized Souji didn't mind it.

"I-is that okay?"

He took a moment to think. It  _was_... but he wasn't so sure he liked the idea of Yosuke doing this just to get his mind off of things. The idea of being pitied by him sent a surge of nausea through Souji's stomach, and it was heightened by the thought of being touched by him for such a reason, almost making him push his hand away before realizing how that would seem.

"Are  _you_ okay with it?" he asked quietly, instead.

Yosuke tilted his head to the side in thought. "Well... I mean. I've never done it before, but I think I can."

"You  _think_...?"

"Yeah. You know better than anyone that I watch... porn..." His voice got quieter and quieter as the sentence went on, and Souji wasn't sure why he chose  _now_ of all times to seem ashamed of certain habits of his. It wasn't like Souji had ever judged him for it before.

But Yosuke was being particularly obtuse to what the real question was, and Souji felt embarrassed having to say it flat-out. Wasn't he vulnerable enough already? Surely he was... and still, he had to do it. He couldn't forgive himself for letting this happen under false pretenses.

"No, I meant, are you okay with it?" he forced out. "Do you want to do it? Because you shouldn't do it if you just want to cheer me up."

"Yeah, of course I do. I mean... I'm not acting, y'know...  _gay_... just for kicks. I want to do it."

Souji muffled a sigh; he doubted Yosuke was actually concerned about making those kinds of jokes in reference to what they did, but it did sometimes get frustrating all the same. It wasn't easy to just detach himself from the reality of this. He had to know it wasn't a joke or a fling, even if both of those might have been preferable to putting himself in a position to be hurt worse in the long run.

Still, that was as close to a confirmation as he was going to get from Yosuke, so he nodded. "If you want to do it... we can do it."

Yosuke nodded too, and in his sudden overwhelming eagerness to pull at Souji and get them facing each other, he got kneed in the jaw by Souji, and subsequently almost headbutted him in the chest (both, somehow, accidents).

"Sorry... sorry. I guess porn doesn't show how awkward this stuff is," he muttered, flushed as he ducked his head down to concentrate his efforts on pulling Souji's pants off.

"It's okay. Just take it slow," Souji reassured—though he had no idea what Yosuke would be getting up to, and furthermore, whether it would be satisfying or even distracting. He guessed it didn't matter; it was the thought that counted, wasn't it?

Only he didn't have long to think about Yosuke's intentions, because Yosuke had gotten his pants unbuttoned and unzipped and was pulling them off along with his underwear. Souji stared down at his body, wondering if Yosuke was going to comment, because that'd make this  _far_ more awkward than it had to be...

But he said nothing. He seemed wrapped up entirely in his own nervousness, brows furrowed as his hand carefully encircled Souji's cock and gave it one curious stroke from bottom to top that wasn't  _quite_ there. But at least it wasn't bad.

"Haha... sorry. It's kinda different from this angle," Yosuke muttered, biting his lip. It took him a moment to tear his eyes away from Souji, but then he continued.

It felt vulnerable; Souji had never let anyone touch him like this. He hadn't ever really  _wanted_ anyone to touch him like this, but with Yosuke between his thighs, he thought he didn't actually mind it so much. At least this was his best friend. At least it was someone he  _trusted_.

"... Hey. What's this?" Yosuke asked after a moment, his eyes focused lower down, and Souji's brows pinched together.

"What's what?"

"This." One hand closed gently around Souji's thigh and guided it apart from the other, cradling it open so that a finger could press into a small spot on the inside.

"Oh... it's a birthmark," Souji said after leaning forward (careful to keep his head far away Yosuke's) and looking at the spot indicated. The small patch stood out against the paler skin at the inside of his thighs, skin that was never really exposed to sunlight like the rest of his body. It was about the same tan color of the rest of him, though. Sometimes, Souji thought it looked like a weird cloud. Then again, just about any blobby spot could look like a cloud, really...

"Hey, still with me?" Yosuke asked.

Souji looked up at him suddenly and nodded. He supposed he'd gotten caught up staring at it, but now he focused on Yosuke again. "Yeah. Sorry."

"S'okay," said Yosuke. His eyes lingered on Souji for another second or so, and then he slowly lowered his head, tongue pressing against that spot on Souji's thigh.

It startled him and he wasn't quite sure why, though the only sign he gave of that was a sudden inhale as his body tensed up. Wasn't this a rather intimate gesture...? And for something as simple as that tiny darker spot? Couldn't it be reserved for something more important, more  _symbolic_?

Yosuke's tongue ran over it a time or two, and then he sucked at it, which made Souji gasp. It felt surprisingly...  _good_. The skin was so rarely touched by anything but clothes that he felt sensitive to it, and he held his breath as Yosuke started jerking him off again at the same time.

He wasn't sure what to think of this. It was good and exciting, but also kind of stunning, and his thighs trembled when Yosuke bit down lightly, a surprised sound spilling from his lips.

Yosuke drew back quickly, nervously. "Did that hurt?"

"No..." Souji breathed. It really hadn't, but there was something about it that had caused all the thoughts in his head to suddenly overload.

"Do you want me to do it again?"

Slowly, Souji nodded, and Yosuke leaned in without a moment's hesitation to nip at that spot, his hand beginning to move over Souji's cock again. He was so  _hard_ , and he really wasn't sure if it was a side-effect of this being the first time he'd ever done this sort of thing with someone else, or if it was because of that stunning pressure on a spot that he'd never paid much attention to before.

He enjoyed it, though, and swallowed hard as Yosuke began to experiment, trying every little thing he could think of—short nips, long sucks, tiny tracings of his tongue, his hand on Souji's thigh to keep him spread open as he worked. It was dizzying, leaving him panting one moment and holding his breath the next. The only thing that really bothered him was how exposed he felt, because letting someone this close was hard, and he didn't know whether or not he liked it.

All he knew was that he wasn't willing to stop it, pushing his hips up into Yosuke's touch, his breathing getting heavier as he got closer to coming. The idea that all it would take was this embarrassed him, but didn't that make them even in the end? Yosuke  _had_ been in a trash can the first time Souji met him, after all. He could take a little embarrassment.

"You should... pull back now..." he panted, touching Yosuke's shoulder in warning.

Yosuke did so hurriedly, but he kept jerking Souji off—and what Souji had  _really_ meant was that he could finish the job himself so that things wouldn't get messy. It was a lost cause by this point, though, and Yosuke's orange t-shirt suddenly had a very conspicuous white stain on it as Souji came with a sharp gasp, straining up into that tight grip.

"Sorry," he murmured after he'd come down a minute later, awkwardly pulling his underwear and pants back up. That had been... strange. But he'd made up his mind, at least. It wasn't bad. "You can borrow one of mine."

"Thanks, partner." Yosuke pulled his shirt off without even waiting for Souji to find him a new one first, and there they sat, staring at each other uneasily until Souji stood and led the way up the stairs in silence.

What were they really supposed to say now? It wasn't that things seemed awkward between them, but Souji figured they'd have to talk about it sooner or later. Preferably sooner. He realized that such a pastime had actually done a decent job of distracting him after all, and he felt appreciative enough that returning the favor didn't seem like such a bad idea—and maybe it'd even get his mind off of this for a little while longer. Hopefully without further damage to clothes, though.

Inside Souji's bedroom, Yosuke was quick to grab a shirt from the chest of drawers with a promise to return it the next day, but when it came time to pull it on again, he paused.

"Was that weird?" he asked.

Was it? Maybe. But weren't all things a little bit weird to settle into? Like a new mattress, or a new pair of jeans? With time and a little wearing, it'd become comfortable. Souji was sure of it, only maybe that'd be strange to say, so instead, he just shrugged and said, "I don't think so."

"Okay. Good." Yosuke tugged the shirt on, stretching the shoulders out a little, and then he took the lead on the way back downstairs. The TV had changed over to a talk show now, something easily ignored as they took their places. And this time, when Yosuke's hand touched Souji's thigh, high up and conspicuously close to the place where he probably assumed Souji's birthmark was, his hands didn't shake. He seemed more sure of how badly he wanted that touch than Souji had ever seen him.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr!](http://bunansa.tumblr.com)


End file.
